Keep the faith

Assalamualaikum!

There are many things happened these few days & I have been quite affected with everything. The major flood.. that swept almost all of the districts in my state, and the latest news regarding the Air Asia's flight.. were making me to think a lot. When I wrote the last entry regarding the rainy days last week, I never think that the flood will be this worst (No, please don't relate my dream to this incident). 

Astaghfirullah. I too cannot lie, even though my family is not affected (directly) from this incident, I am very scared. It reminds me to one of my bed-time stories with Abah: The story of Prophet Nuh,  the tragedy of tsunami that happened in Acheh last 10 years, and the most important, it makes me think...... Am I ready for the judgement day ? :(

"Atau patutkah kamu merasa aman (tidak takut) kepada Allah yang pusat pemerintahan Nya di langit itu: menghantarkan kepada kamu angin ribut yang menghujani kamu dengan batu; maka dengan itu, kamu akan mengetahui kelak bagaimana buruknya kesan amaran Ku ?" (Al-Mulk:17)

Life is temporary. We are placed in this world for only a short time. Sehari di akhirat itu sama dengan seribu tahun di dunia. These are what Abah always said during his "lecture" to us. Well, the world is more like to a testing-ground where we are being tested.. Perhaps, we can say that our life is actually an examination ? So, how we respond to all of them will be evaluated and the results will eventually determine our after-life (Even to only think about this, makes me shivering a little inside). 

And today, I vow to be a better person. I have noted some things that I should do after this (Bismillah, may everything goes well with me). After all, instead of crazily competing for the best student title in the dunia, I guess it is better for us to hunt the award of the best student in the akhirat starting from now. hehe.

Wet days

It has been so wet since last two days, signifies that the rainy season has come to Kelate. Wuuhuuu! Well, this rainy days, you know... -the perfect time to stay in the pyjama longer! Hehe. Since I 'm on my holiday, staying in the bed with the sound of wonderful rains seems so good! ...But, the rainy season this time seems different. The continuous rain has caused heavy flood in several places in Kelate (Lucky that my home is not affected. Alhamdulillah). & One of the most affected areas is in Mache, one place that I heart very much. Looking at all the pictures, it was quite shocking to see there were water pooled in most of the places, including the front road of the campus. It must be hard for everyone there. My deepest condolences goes to the flood victims and I pray that everything will go well. Stay safe, everyone :)

By the way, ... I don't know how to tell about this. It 's just, I dreamed the same thing over and over these few days. It was related to water (a lot). Telling best friend about the dream was not helping (?) -Ok ok, he helped! He came out with one or two theories, and they were all fun-ny! But, still I could not forget it. Hm, perhaps the dream is trying to relay me some messages ? Ohhhh man, I 'm dizzy. Let's hope it is just only a dream. Please.

The rain, water, flood, & the dream T___T 

Source: Instagram UiTMMachang

_____________________________________________________________________________

"It is okay". He tells me. "If you want to go. Everyone wants you to stay. I want you to stay more than I have ever wanted anything in my life". His voice cracks with emotion. He stops, clears his throat, takes a breath, and continues. "But that is what I want and I could see why it might not be what you want. So I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It's okay if you have to leave us. It's okay if you want to stop fighting". -If I Stay, Gayle Forman.

I cry reading this paragraph. It is very heartbreaking :( I bought this book after noticing that the cover of the book is very attractive. Well, ok it was not mine bought the book. My best friend did. I whats-app(ed) him the cover of the book in the morning, he bought it in the evening of the same day (wow), but I only received it one month after that. Haha! At first, I never really get what is the story about, although I read the synopsis for several times (I tell you, I am attracted to this book because of the cover). Those who have read or watch this story probably know what happens. Everything changes in a single moment when Mia and her family involve in a disastrous car accident. To make it more worst, she is the only one who survive...... and basically, this novel is only about a girl who is facing an ultimate dilemma: To live or to die.

Though, this book really provoked me a lot of thoughts. As Mia struggled to make decisions whether to live or to die, which I think it must very hard on her, I do take my own time to think about my decision too (I have decided, I guess). Cannot deny, decision making is always a very painful process. Mia's story is beautiful. But, buying this book to only read about a soul wandering in the hospital..... Ahhhhh nvm, it is my choice (And my best friend pays for it. Haha!) I tell you earlier, the cover of the book is very seducing. hehe. So, the real lesson ? Don't judge a book by its cover ;)

Home-work

There are few random thoughts running through my head these few days. It is quite challenging to put everything into words here. -Ah, some things are better left unsaid.. So, what's up ? I am totally fine (except for my face, there are little bumps here and there. & yes, I 'm stress with that T__T). After all, holiday mood is still on.... And oh I am not sure whether this is considered as good news or not, but I 've settled down for good. hehe, which means I have no official relationship with my campus anymore. Yeay ?! With the new team that has been set up for both of the club & students' council, I wish all of them best of luck to go through the craziness of workloads for the whole year. *evil laugh here*

I have just come home from my sister's convocation last week. It was fun... and full of sentimental value. Despite of some regrets in me for not being the first in the family to graduate.. I am soooo proud of my sister! You can never imagine on how hard she struggled during her school and uni - days in order to receive the scroll. Mendidik anak ibarat menanam pokok. Dulu, ditanam saja benih. Hari ini dah tiba masa kami tuai hasilnya. ....Abah and his lecture will never fall apart. He tazkirah us all the way from the campus back to Kelate -__-" But, yes they are all true. Looking at our parents (non-stop clicking his camera, make us embarrased in front of the friends bla bla. haha), they only want the best for us. And, I know this day will never possible without them. Well, now they can sigh a little bit of relief to see one of their children has pass very well (Many more to come!).

Hm, ajet sangat! #JelitadahKonvo

On the other note, my youngest brother (not so young anymore, he 'll be 15 next year. pffft) has getting more playful now! Besides of futsal and squash (his birds will never be forgotten), with this new globalization era of smartphones; he is very addicted to COC. Last few days, he was scolded by Abah for not doing anything sooo, now he behaved a bit and one day I came to see him doing his work quitely in his room.

A : Dik, why are you so lazy doing school works now ?

B : How can I not be lazy doing all these homeworks, teachers never ask for them to be pass up. To make it more worst ?! I am the only one who settled all of them.

A : ........Orang baik selalu teraniaya

*******

But, seriously who to blame now ?!!

The sequel of Divergent

Source: Google

Hm. I rarely love fantasy novels / movies. I don't hate it, but I don't love it too. I don't know why, perhaps it pulls me too far away from the reality (I can't relate any of them to my life. Haha). And, sometimes I afraid it may affect my belief to my religion too (Read: Fety is so old - fashioned).. Until today, the only novels and movies that I survive watching and read is Harry Potter. But now, since I am on the long break, I think I should give Insurgent a try. Surprisingly, when I thought I 'll abandon this novel after two or three chapters, I finish this book in one day. This novel exceeds my expectation! 

This novel is the sequel of Divergent (I watched Divergent, not reading it). You know, we were left hanging at the end of Divergent, wondering what Tris and her faction would do after escaping the simulation. Well, although Insurgent literally picks up from that last page; it took me for a while to remember what had happened previously. And I even watched Divergent again! Haha. I love to read on how Tris has to deal with the consequences of the things that she had done before. She is deeply hurt, physically and mentally... & how she hastily put back herself in order to survive.. They are really admirable. In this book, she faces a lot of events that making her to choose either to go for the bad or the worse, and finally how to be responsible on her decision. Ah, it reminds me of my dilemma T__T Of course, one of the main reasons how she can keep going is because she has Four with her!  ...He still believes that I am strong. Strong enough that I don't need his sympathy. I used to think he was right, but now I am not sure.... Four is very supportive. The way on how he pushes Tris to come out as best as she can when she is having a very hard time strikes me. Despite of all the arguments and fights, these two are totally completing each other :)

I have to admit that I am not a big fan of fantasies series. Am I more to realists ? Haha. But, I cannot deny that both of these series Divergent and Insurgent have lessons that the writer would like to convey. We should not live life with only one trait. What the.. with all the factions ? After all, we have to accept that everyone has their own personalities and it is never right to isolate other people for their differences. Oh another one, reading to the end of this novel makes me think that sometimes, lying is good to spare the feelings of others; especially to the ones who we loved. Tipu sunat! Haha

Life just got real, sigh.

Assalamualaikum! 

Phew, finally! Guys, I am very panic! I can't access my blog since yesterday. I even think of probability that my blog was hacked T__T Ah, what to say. This place is one place that I treasure the most, how can it disappear just like that ? Without any single good bye ? Ok, Fety is being exaggerate, as always. haha

It has been two weeks. I have just come back from Jakarta & a commitment of work to my college last two days -they were the last one, since I 'm not joining my MPP team to Perth this December, and perhaps will not able to join the Mega PC Fair program also. Thinking of not going back there after this makes me cry inside (This time is serious. Even if I 'm going back there again, things will never as the same as today anymore). Well, life really has a way of kicking us when we are down (absolutely). And just when we think we cannot fall any lower, we get kicked again. Duh, when did life get so real ?? I cannot lie to myself. I am having a rough time now. Erm, may be we can say it as adult dilemma ? At times, I feel like I don't want to care about choosing. Let's go for alternatives, it is either do-or-die. Decision making process is never easy *sigh*. 

After all, I have always remind myself with this: Everyone has their own struggles. No matter what we are going through in our lives, other people also have gone the same or worse. It is times like this we need to be strong in order to come out stronger on the other side. Come on, I have passed series of tragedies before this, how can I not endure this little dilemma ? Hehe.

I think the biggest design project anyone can have is their own life

I am a person who likes to make 'things-to-do list' that can help me to organize my day. Alhamdulillah, many things can be settled by doing the list. Still there are some things are not going according to my plan (I am always in total mess when I am busy. haha). Sometimes, what we want and what we get in life are totally different.... I am an ordinary human, who is very immersed in designing the future and sometimes, totally forget on what has been said in Al-Quran, ....But, they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best planner (Al-Anfal:30).  

Of course, this is a SPONSORED post. My best friend needs to pay me for letting his story comes out openly in my sketch place. haha. I was too busy with my own stuff this whole November. But, I guess I excel my first surprise present :) -I was attacked with a lot of screen-shots of this picture that day. Haha! & thank you for my busy-ness, I have no time to reply at all (I have nothing to reply, that is the truth! Haha). 

So, the long wait is over. All of your hard works and sleepless nights for the past few years have been paid off. Happy graduation to the one who is in love with design projects the most. Designing is always cool, but in the mean time, He too has already designed and planned our projects ahead. What more can we say except let's put the trust in Him ? Allah is the best planner.

Happy graduation. You owe me big this time!

Nobody said it was easy

Assalamualaikum!

I am very excited! I have a lot of things that make me proud today. You know, my best friend had his first outstation this morning & will be home tonight (Career man sangat!), most of my friends passed their semester results excellently, and of course, I 'm graduating! Finally! I am very happy. I don't know what does this mean for you. Perhaps, this achievement is nothing to be compared to yours (I am one year late from others, I changed my major course from Science to Social Science)... But, as for me, this is a big milestone. At least, this is a stepping stone to other future life achievements. Phew, what an adventurous life I lived in! 

The moment you realized if you had not failed miserably, you will never learn your lesson

Life is riddled with a lot of tough questions. Are you dismissed from your foundation ? What did you get for your degree ? Why did you choose to make a u- turn ? Long sad story! Most people don't talk openly about their failure, how can you expect I can tell you happily ? T___T Before being accepted again here (Read: UiTM), I still remember the feeling of lost and depression. Life seemed so hard that time. Until at one point, something triggered me. I should wake up. This place has given me another chance, why should I waste it ? (If any of you follow this blog from the start, you will realize that I temporarily stop writing. hihi). Now, if there is one thing that I should thank is; of course the failure that I experienced last three years. The failure reminds me on how imperfect I am -It shows the weakest part of me *I lost half of my ke-machoan during that time. haha*

I am a person who thrives on staying busy. My promise to never involve into any extra activities can get lost. Haha. I am an annoying perfectionist who challenged myself to be part of students' council team and in the mean time, struggling to maintain my pointer. It was hard. My gpa dropped to 3.7+ in semester 4 (My CGPA was the highest in semester 3). At that time, I felt like, OMG is it coming again ? Why didn't I learn from my mistake ? I should never break my promise :( My final year was the hardest (I was chased out from my class once, I failed my quiz & test, bla bla). With all the classes and programs, staying up until 3-4 a.m. seemed like a must. Just imagine, my night activity was full of meetings & discussions and morning class started as early as 8 a.m. Therefore, after all these hard works; I am very grateful with the results. Maintaining flat for four semesters out of six semesters & graduated as one of the ANC(s) are very unexpected. Of course, they are never an easy job. Alhamdulillah!

My highest gratitude goes to everyone who are always by my side during these three years in Mache. Thank you for not running away when I need help and giving the courage and pride to do things that I have never done before :) Sungguh, hutang budi dibawa mati.

My favourite team- mates: The risk takers w/o Shahrul, Akel, & Fathul

My favourite school

My favourite classmates

My favourite club, INDYBS

My so- called siblings

This place is entirely different than high school. I learn to discover myself here (Deep inside, I have to agree with friends harsh statement: Fety tak pernah tahu apa maksud kehidupan). Well, I started to be more open in building new friends in semester 3, before that I 'm used to be a lone-ranger. Haha. Surprisingly, these people have shaped my life tremendously and help me to grow as a person. UiTM really allows me to spread out my wings in order to challenge the limits. Thank you UiTM for all the chances given. I appreciate each one of it. College was one of the best time in my life. hehe, while I know this statement is not really true; I have to admit I had a lot of fun here. So, what 's next ? :)

Reflections: He is watching you

Assalamualaikum!

Wuu, I have been more frequent on the blog! *proud* Well, perhaps best friend is right. My life is starting to get back to normal. I can think more straight and do whatever I want now. After all, I can't tell you how much I enjoyed my this semester holiday. -I rarely have semester break since last year. Don't you think that I deserve this break ?!

Since I am at home, of course, on holiday mood; which means no books and no assignments to be done, sisters keep bashing on me to do all the house chores. Well, we have our own duties (The perk of having too many girls at home. haha) and it is normal routine for me everyday to do the laundry. There is no fun in doing all these house works, especially when you have to go back and forth outside your house. I mean, before going out you have to cover up.. you know.. And I was too lazy to do that one day. Ah, it was so hot outside and I don't think there will be people... So, I walked carefully (To make sure no one see me) before sister turned to me after a few more steps and asked "Dah banyak pahala ke buat harini ?"

Deep. Her words shake me up. Allah -the watchful. How can I forget this ayah: Allah is Ever-Watchful over all things. (al-Ahzab: 52). Clearly, Allah tells us that He watches over all of His servants. He even watches over all of their secrets and their deeds. Ah, I should more aware of Allah’s rights over me and of my duty towards Him. Astaghfirullah T__T

__________________________________________________________________________

Leadership is about taking responsibilities, not making excuses

I have just come back from a leadership course yesterday and I am slightly frustrated with some of the participants that suppose should join the camp but end up with absentees. No matter how logic all of the excuses, I still cannot brain them. Come on, at least do this for the sake of our friendship. 

I have been part of students' organizations since school and I can tell you that the amount of experience that I learnt is incredible. But, still I went to all the organized courses. In every courses, I met a lot of amazing people, I got mentors, and the most important, I learn to develop my personality. The leadership stuffs in university are far difference compared to the one that you learnt in school. So, what makes you think that you are good enough in leadership ? (Read: Fety is very disappointed)