Jan 19, 2015

Women are (n't) complicated

I have just finished reading a book and I am soooooo drowned into it nooow. Where She Went really got under my skin. This book turns out to a better book (Read: Incredible) compared to If I Stay. Well, just like Adam, knowing that both of them are no longer longer together (Mia dumped him without any hint of explaination) since the accident really makes me wondered. Why Mia why ?! 

"She kissed me good-bye. She told me that she loved me more than life itself. Then she stepped through security. She never came back." 

"Ever hear the one about that dog that spent it's life chasing cars and finally caught one - and had no idea what to do with it? I'm that dog."

Like him, I am angry too. Sometimes, I feel like I can feel everything what is he going through.. All things that he say, really breaks me :( Reading through the lines make me think a lot. How the power of love can destruct one self... And the worst is, how can Adam's story touches my heart more rather than the story of Mia losing her family.. They are amazing. Well, perhaps Adam's story is too bitter. And his emotions is too strong.... I can't help myself to feel upset at Mia.. how can she has the guts to leave Adam.. Hm, am I sobbing over a guys's broken heart now ? Haha

But, of course, the best part of this book is when Mia and Adam met again after being departed.. and start to talk about what really happened since three years ago. I really don't want to care on what Mia says. What I know is she really has no solid reasons to leave Adam. But, as I start to re-think again, the only thing that Adam do after he was left by Mia is only blaming her. And he takes a lot of anger out on others.. (I was influenced too. haha)... And you know, he even have another girlfriend after that too! Wow.

“It would ’ve been easier to die. It’s not that I want to be dead now. I don’t. I have a lot in my life that I get satisfaction from, that I love. But some days, especially in the beginning, it was so hard. And I couldn’t help but think that it would’ve been so much simpler to go with the rest of them. But you—you asked me to stay. You begged me to stay. You stood over me and you made a promise to me, as sacred as any vow.” 

"You talked to me, but you didn’t. I could see you having these two-sided conversations. The things you wanted to say to me. And the words that actually came out.”

When Mia finally tell him the reasons, I am quite stunned. I don't expect that it is also hard on her (Well, obviously she is the one who left. Why she should be sympathized ?). Ok, I 'm lying. If only I am Mia, I 'll do the same as her too. I guess. I don't mean to sound insensitive. But, I understand how Mia feel too. Sometimes we are too tired to explain things. Can't men just reflect & think what had they promise to us.. and what exactly had they done in order to fulfil all the promises ? Look, ok (Just now, I was on Adam's side. But now I am going to gang with Mia). Am I being complicated here ? Ah. My brain hurts now. Till then, take care guys. Haha

Jan 14, 2015

This is the real... reality


*This entry is pretty lengthy. Please bear with it*

I really want to blog since last two / three days ago. I am so excited! I haven't been to Islamic courses for a long time.. & When my Abah said that there is one tafsir class at the mosque nearby to my house.. No excuse to me this time! Hehe. We all need reminders.. to ensure we don't become so ensnared in this crazy world! It is so scary to think of, Masya Allah. 

I have always think Quran & us have a very special connection. It is just like we need sun to help us to see our way during the day. And I finally understand when Ustaz said this that night: Keperluan manusia terhadap Al-Quran lebih daripada keperluan ikan terhadap air. Allah always stresses us to think and to use our mind. You know, Quran is just like a love letter from Him, that is full of questions & answers.

Ustaz talked about the last part of Surah Al-Haqqah that night. I missed the first part of it. The second part was explained by Abah (He went to this class last week). Well, Al- Haqqah means The inevitable truth. Read: Reality. The reality is the inevitable event that will happen one day. What Abah always said to us... hari kehancuran ini ada dua, hancur maksudnya kiamat.. & juga mati. Mati juga umpama kiamat bagi kita.... Whether we realize or not, He always reminds us to be aware of the judgement day. Basically, the final part of this surah conclude everything that has been discussed in the early sections. Regarding Allah, his prophet, alam ghaib, & sam'iyyat things (syurga, neraka, hari kiamat etc etc).

My favourite Al-Quran
I am an old-style person (I guess). I love physical reading very much. If it has to be read, so I need books. Real books. Not from the handphone or what so ever. & when it comes to reading and learning, I have always need to jot down the important points (Or at least, things that I really think are very important to me). That is why, I still believe in the existence of notebook & planners. haha.

You know what Ustaz said that night ? Hak Al-Quran ke atas diri kita adalah kita mesti khatam sekurang-kurangnya dua kali setahun. Subhanallah, that is why Abah always forces us to read & read Al-Quran. Come on, we can go to work everyday, we can read hundred pages of novel, but to read a page of Al-Quran ? No ? 


Listening to Ustaz's lecture really makes me think. I mean, we are just only normal human beings. We do a lot of mistakes. Sometimes, we try to hold our tongues, lower our gaze, or try as good as possible to avoid what Allah asks us to avoid.. but, we are normal human beings. We are weak and we can do the same mistakes over and over. But to know that Allah is always there for us, how can we never feel the shame ? No matter how bad we are, His door of forgiveness is always opens for us.

And, here we go for the most important notes that Ustaz said before he ended his lecture. If we have these four things with us, we have Islam in our hand. 

1) Zikr

2) Grateful body & soul

3) Sabr

4) Solehah wife / soleh husband
Another interesting point from Ustaz that makes me ponder: Innalillahiwainnailaihiroji'un. Kembali kepada Allah. Why we are busy to say that to the dead, whereby we should suppose to say that before we are really go back to Him. Pang! Slapped my face hardly! So, in whatever we do.. We have to always remember that there is another life in the hereafter. And that is the reality that all of us have to face. No one knows, when is the day. That is why, we are told to prepare for it. This is the real... reality.

I want to be better.

Step by step. Slowly.....

Jan 7, 2015

Kitchen fairy

"Heyyyy you are doing nothing all day todayyy"
"Can't you come and help me in the kitchen bla blaaaa"


"Take my handphone, & check the screenshot pictures"
"That recipe looked very simple. You can do that"

I was having a me-time with my laptop when Mom started her nagging *Sesh, can't really see I am freeee* Being a good daughter...... I went to her & asked her what she wanted me to do. And, you know the rest of the story. Oh man! I can wash the dishes, I can help to keep the kitchen clean (I even mastered this one), but coo-ki-ng ? Hm. You know, I rarely cook (Everyone knows Fety. pfft). How can we say about this.. Everyone has their strengths & weakness. & this is a real fact that everyone should accept (HAHA. What a good excuse!).

Well, since Mom is being so helpful (How kind is she to save all the recipes for her daughter. ha ha), I decided to try it out. I took all the ingredients out of the fridge, and started to do as the instructions told me. Looking at the recipe...... I filled the bowl with hot water.. Of course, with a crazy imagination in my head (Wow, Fety can really cook etc etc)......... Until Mom came to me and asked again what was I really doing.


"That recipe told you to MASAK dengan air, bukan MASUKKAN air"


Crap!! I am so dead!! HAHA. It was funny, though. I really don't have patience at cooking. That is probably the biggest problem of mine. I did read the recipe, with only a quick glance. haha. Back to the recipe, Mom took charge in repairing the breakdown that I had made, & taaa daaaa it was done in 15 minutes. My Mom is really the kitchen fairy! ;D 



I pass making this one! *flip hair*


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