Designing the future

 A:  You are too busy

 B:   I make myself busy because you are busy

A:   Still, you are busier

B:  You are too immersed with your design

A:  But, I 'm designing our future

B:  ......

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My best friend is very good at giving excuses now. Haha. Whatever it is, regarding the future.. ...I have some specific worries about what the future holds for me. Especially, for these few days.. I was very stressed and burnt out worrying about my next journey of life. The place seems closer, but yet it is still far away. After all, may Allah ease everything that I am doing now. 

My final semester result will be out on the first week of November. For the first time, I am very impatient to know about the results. My works seem cannot be settled without the final results. Talking to best friend will always end up with -you are thinking too much. Stop it, over thinking kills you inside. 

So, let's keep calm, for now ? Truth to be said, the unknown have provided some heartaches for me. & it really ruined my days too. I know, we cannot control the future (Ok, designing is accepted. haha), but we know that more often than not, if we are open to it; it will lead us to something good. Bukan kah Allah dah tetapkan yang baik semuanya ?

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Assalamualaikum! 

The new Islamic year is finally here. Abah did some tazkirah about this yesterday. Set new resolutions, make changes on your life. Or, you should at least review the direction of your life. 

“Kamu telah dilalaikan (daripada mengerjakan amal bakti) oleh perbuatan berlumba-lumba untuk mendapat dengan sebanyak-banyaknya (harta benda, anak-pinak pangkat dan pengaruh). Sehingga kamu masuk kubur" (102: 1-2)

Ah, very deep. I am too busy chasing my dreams. Sometimes, I struggled a lot to show my best part of me to the people outside there... Sitting down and logically thinking about it, what am I doing actually ? I know, somehow I feel like I have messed up my priorities. I don't want to success only in this world, I want to be productive for the Hereafter too, seriously! T__T

The true test of love.

“How different this moment feels, for so many reasons. I tell myself that no two loves are identical - but that I don't have to compare anymore.”

My first book for this long semester break! It has been a long time.... since my last read. phew. Somehow, it is quite weird to think that how can I manage to read more during my foundation years compared to now. How can a science student has time to read novels more that a business student ? Haha. -Perhaps, she has no life that time. The only world that she knew were the thick biology book & yes, novels :)

Love The One You're With by Emily Griffin. My sister bought this book for me a long time ago, but I just had chance to read it these past few days (I have no much time to read before this, please believe. hehe). I don't know how much stars should I rate for this book. Basically, this novel discussed a situation which most of people have been. Ellen who wondered if her husband, Andy, was really her soul-mate. A chance to encounter with her ex-boyfriend, Leo, gave Ellen a small glimpse into the relationship they could have had and suddenly made her question why she broke up with him. & here, the drama begins. 

Sometimes, Ellen just stressed me out. She had a lot of thinking, but the way she always kept everything inside and never talk to Andy about her true feelings was very maddening. Ah, out of sudden I feel like I 'm reading myself here. haha. But for sure, I hate Leo. Any real man who genuinely cared for her would have left her alone instead of putting her in dilemma. I mean, she is somebody's wife already and you have nothing related to her anymore. Go and get your own life! (emo. haha). In the end, I 'm glad finally Ellen can think straight and stick to Andy. Andy was too cool. How sweet he was when he went to NY by himself to find his wife. I cried a little inside :( This reminds me to my best friend's question once, if there 's any circumstance comes to us one day, will you defend this relationship ? ............

After all, Love the One You’re With is a story that goes straight to the heart of what it means to love and be loved, and to find a way to live with difficult choices. So, have you encounter things like this in your life ? How did you settle your feelings ? Let's share.

Whirlwind of emotions.

Assalamualaikum!

It has been thirty minutes. & I still typing..... erase... & typing again. Ah, I miss murai very much. This is my final semester, here in Mache! You know, everyone lies when they said final semester is the easiest. What I see everyday are papers, books, and exams piling over my head (Not including my extra club works and all the university problems). Doing programs seems easier these days. But, please. Not FESKEM again. It was the toughest program that I have ever done in my entire life. If I was given another chance to do it.. Em, still not now. I need time to digest everything. haha. 

By the way, still remember my first entry about this place ?  The day I entered the campus, some sort of fear engulfed me.... I rate this place with two stars.. haha. Well, basically it was true (Read: Fety cannot lie). It was my first impression. & that is why, I have never angry to those who dislike this place. I even said to the degree students that I met during their orientation week earlier of this semester: It is ok for not liking this place these few weeks, but if you don't have that some kind of love to this place until the end; it is really a problem. This place is not that bad!

After all, my real life starts here. 

If anyone can recall how a student, who is having her darkest phase in her life.. crawling in searching for the right track to stand, and to say that she is very fortunate to meet a lot of good people until now standing as one of the best(est) student, with the second highest position that she had never imagine.. The failure has helped me recognize the more fragile part of me. In fact, this place taught me things that I would not have learned had I accepted the degree offer. 

Apa yang Allah tetapkan semuanya betul, suka atau tak itu nafsu kita semata- mata -Abah

Finally, it is getting down to the wire. Thinking of never come to this place after this, makes me cry a little :( I 'm going back to college this Wednesday to finish another two final examination papers. Definitely, I 'll enjoy this place to the fullest. How quickly the time passed....