Reclaiming myself

"What are you going to do this Ramadhan?"

"Bring myself closer to Him, Insya Allah" 

"Aww, bring me to Him tooooooo!" 

*Vomit a bucket*

Picture: During "Majlis Solat Hajat Perdana in Machang"

On the serious note, Alhamdulillah Ramadhan is approaching, again! Did anyone noticed that time is moving slightly faster now ? Or, is it only my illusions ? After all, it is so frightening T__T This time, last year I was in the final semester of my diploma years in Machang. It was a very hectic semester, I didn't manage to finish even half of my Quran. ......And, I am very regret for not doing so. As for this year, I 'll be having my first degree final examination starting from next week. Six papers guys, six papers :( & to make it more worst, they are all in Ramadhan. These few days, my mind is keep thinking on how can I get the most out of this holy month whilst dealing with my final examinations. I want to win both.......

We are all not so little anymore. The basic declaration of "I would not get to eat or drink from dawn to dusk for the entire month" is not reliable anymore. There is soooo much more about this month. What it means, what the blessings are like, and how heaven opens up its doors to us.... How can you guys are not excited about all these matters ? 

I have always think that Ramadhan should be fun. Through fasting, we help to increase our mental efficiency and can spend more time applying ourselves to helping those around us. Well, being generous is definitely an Islamic merit, but being generous in Ramadhan is even more highly rewarded guys! Sooooo basically, Ramadhan is not only about the food fiesta! Hehe. The most important, it gives us another opportunity to boost our spiritual. Basically, we are always unaware of our sins that we do everyday. Thus, this is the right time for us to start cleansing our hearts and seek for Allah's forgiveness in order to embrace this holy month. 

This year, I am not going the same mistake as last year anymore. I am not saying I failed badly during the last Ramadhan (Obviously, who want to grade themselves as failure?). It is like.. by the time I finally manage to adapt with the tight schedule, I realize it is the time to bid farewell. It was so disappointing. Soooooo, I want to do better this year! You know, I read a lot of articles regarding the preparations to celebrate Ramadhan on internet and books just to make sure that I have basic knowledge on what I should really do this month. Hehe.

Examination mode is still on. But, we always have to keep in mind that in the time of competing for our survival on this materialistic world, the race for paradise should never be forgotten. I tell you earlier, I want to win both. Of course, it takes a little effort a lot of hard works to get there. But, insya Allah with Allah's help, I am going to make the best of this month. Let's do this together. Amin :)

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How close are you with Him now ?

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Dead week

Week 14.

Examination week is coming in another two weeks :( This is my first time to sit for degree final exam and I am quite nervous for it. I hate this feeling. As I am typing this entry, my mind is sooo busy thinking of the assignments that have yet to be settled, final assesments that are all half-way done, video that is still not compiled, three tests that I have to face (I haven't finish reading them, of course), presentations, and bla bla. Astaghfirullah, banyaknya kerja!

"Why are you so serious?"

"Idk. Just go do your work, busy man".

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This part is the worst. It affects my emotions! It is hard to say where it started, but it certainly has something to do with my tight schedule. I plan to write since last few days. But, I think my IQ shrunk about thirty points from normal. I did almost everything wrong. And, of course A gets to taste my cranky mood. The closest target. hehe. A is so cool, you know. Sometimes, I get so jealous with him. How can he manages to stay calm with all the datelines? huh.

As cramping all the emotions in my head seems cannot settle all the problems, I decided to have me-time on the prayer mat just now. Usually I would go to A too, but.... since I have chased him to do his work... (I have to save my face) hehe.

This life is a test for the hereafter.

"[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving" (Al-Mulk:2)

I am so worry about the upcoming final exam. Until, I forget that the the real test that will be held in the hereafter. Astaghfirullah. Questions strike into my head one after another. If only with the final examinations on the earth, we have started to freak out, how about the tests in the hereafter ? If only we can stay awake just for final examination, how can we do nothing for that tests ? After all, these tests are nothing much to be compared with the one that we are going to face up there.

.........