Heart purification

Out of the reasons, I feel empty. It is just like, there is something lacking. And, the weirdest is I haven't shed any tears out since three months ago (?). Not a few drops of salty water from my eyes. I am afraid. Is my heart sealed? You know, a person with a sick heart will never react to the needs of other people. He does not care if his brothers and sisters are afflicted by hardship. The thing that he really care is only about himself. Ah...... Thinking about it, really gives me goosebumps.......

Remembering on what my father always said in his tazkirah, “The heart will be subjected to trial after trial, and there will appear a black stain on any heart that is affected, which will spread until the heart is completely black and sealed, as it were, so that it will not recognize any good deed or denounce any evil, except whatever suits its own desires.” (Reported by Muslim).

Oh forget to mention, I am at home now. Since I am on medication, a lot of changes had to be done on my original plans ie my practical placement and whatever (I 'll update this one in the separate entry. Later). Well, being at home at the moment, so no excuse not to follow the parents rules. Mom used to force me to accompany her to the mosque and I went when I could (when I feel like I want to go. hihi). Plus, looking back at everything that had happened, I think I have to find ways to overcome it.

 And it happened that the particular topic at the class that I had attended was regarding our attitudes during the pain and suffering happened. After thoroughly addressing the introduction of the dimension of the Kitab Penawar Bagi Hati, which he explained that Tasawwuf is the path to self-purification (membersih segala anggota zahir). But, although it focuses on the inner feelings, the other parts of the body also have to be responsible too.

Seven parts of the body that are clashed their upright and evilness:

1. Eyes

2. Nose

3. Mouth

4. Ears

5. Pubic area (Faraj)

6. Stomach

7. Hands & legs

Interesting question that being asked by the ustaz, why does we always go back to Allah when it is already late ? When there is something happened, we will seek for physical excuse, this is because of this, because of that. Yet, we actually know everything that happened is from Allah. Why we are so late to see Allah in everything........ The ustaz even said, to show He is more powerful than you, Allah sends some weird event to test you (The translation of Al-Kahfi: Story of ashabul kahfi), to see how we cope with it. To see if we will turn towards the straight path or away from it.

I was slapped by the teacher's words. Mann, this is me. When I was diagnosed with the rare disease, I am influenced by the people around me, a lot of things crossed in my mind. Because of continuous fever, stress, & even over-striving for excellence (People see me as the perfectionist. Working hard all the way. hua). I never think of Allah at first place. Ya Allah so horrible of me to think that way. It was then that I started truly understanding the ways of Allah, how everything that happens has a purpose (It doesn't matter I know or not what the reason is)..... and that I am supposed to learn from that.......

Designing the future

 A:  You are too busy

 B:   I make myself busy because you are busy

A:   Still, you are busier

B:  You are too immersed with your design

A:  But, I 'm designing our future

B:  ......

*************

My best friend is very good at giving excuses now. Haha. Whatever it is, regarding the future.. ...I have some specific worries about what the future holds for me. Especially, for these few days.. I was very stressed and burnt out worrying about my next journey of life. The place seems closer, but yet it is still far away. After all, may Allah ease everything that I am doing now. 

My final semester result will be out on the first week of November. For the first time, I am very impatient to know about the results. My works seem cannot be settled without the final results. Talking to best friend will always end up with -you are thinking too much. Stop it, over thinking kills you inside. 

So, let's keep calm, for now ? Truth to be said, the unknown have provided some heartaches for me. & it really ruined my days too. I know, we cannot control the future (Ok, designing is accepted. haha), but we know that more often than not, if we are open to it; it will lead us to something good. Bukan kah Allah dah tetapkan yang baik semuanya ?

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Assalamualaikum! 

The new Islamic year is finally here. Abah did some tazkirah about this yesterday. Set new resolutions, make changes on your life. Or, you should at least review the direction of your life. 

“Kamu telah dilalaikan (daripada mengerjakan amal bakti) oleh perbuatan berlumba-lumba untuk mendapat dengan sebanyak-banyaknya (harta benda, anak-pinak pangkat dan pengaruh). Sehingga kamu masuk kubur" (102: 1-2)

Ah, very deep. I am too busy chasing my dreams. Sometimes, I struggled a lot to show my best part of me to the people outside there... Sitting down and logically thinking about it, what am I doing actually ? I know, somehow I feel like I have messed up my priorities. I don't want to success only in this world, I want to be productive for the Hereafter too, seriously! T__T

Awal Muharram, the Muslim celebration.

The Islamic new year, the day that marks the beginning of a new islamic calendar year. Muharram,is based on the date of the Hijrah of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w from Makkah to Madinah, in year 622 on the guidance of Allah.

Bulan Muharram, bulan Allah.

Sesungguhnya Allah s.w.t telah membuka lembaran tahun baru di dalam takwim Islam dengan bulan Muharram. Tidaklah kedapatan bulan yang lebih mulia dalam takwim Islam di sisi Allah s.w.t itu selepas bulan Ramadhan melainkan bulan Muharram. Ianya dinamakan bulan Allah yang khas disebabkan besarnya kehormatannya. -Al- Hassan Al- Basri rahimahumullah.

This is the perfect time, to review and make new resolutions for the year. It is the time to check our personal progress. In order to be a better man.

Konklusi, satu Muharram bukan sekadar cuti umum. Ia adalah titik mula, dalam usaha untuk menuju laluan kebaikan, sekaligus, meninggalkan kemungkaran. Selamat tahun baru!