Forever.

After a long thought,

#FForever

Brunei is family

Postponed entry: August 2018

We celebrated our raya haji this year (read: last year) in Brunei! My sister is going to UK this September. Thus, we desperately need one last vacation while everyone is here. We listed one long list -which Brunei is not included, but then the cheapest ticket was to Brunei at the moment....... so there we go!

We actually have family in Brunei. My aunt (My father's little sister) lives there. I can't recall when was the last time she comes back to Malaysia for raya, so this time we are bringing raya to them (My mother brings all good food from Malaysia. Know what, she even brought lemang & kerutuk daging. amazing. I want to be my mother one day. She brings happiness to everyone).

Raya morning with Malaysia families in Brunei

Surprise! Another aunt joins the trip too. My another aunt with her two daughters arrive in Brunei on the first day of raya. So, three out of eight in Brunei. Can we start the hashtag #teamrayaBrunei now?

When the girls team up. Full house!

****

To be continued, later.

Stage of life

This post is written in January 2018 (I was stressed about my job, in the meantime, happy that I'll be moving to another stage of my life). But, who knows? We plan. Allah also plans. Things have been toppled down.

I think for a million times before deciding to post this entry, but one thing that I know is I can't run from the reality. As if I don't post this entry, parts of my life diary 'll be incomplete. huhu

______________________________________________________________________

I really want this to work out

That's my plan. earlier. 

After six months, I stuck -__- Working in the manufacturing industry is so tiring (physical & mental). I don't know, I might be exaggerating here, but I think I can't tolerate it already.

---------------------------

Good news.

A & I have started to plan for the next phase of life.

Before this, I've always been a bit of sceptical when it comes to marriage. huhu. I don't know, I am just curious. How can I possibly agree to spend my life with this one person?

But, as the time goes, I know he is the one. We have been friends for nearly 8 years and things have started to become serious since last three years (kot?). He is with me. All the time (even virtually).

Alhamdulillah. His family has come to my house and after all the dung dang dung dang about date & whatever, all have been decided. I believe my parents are the happiest now. Pray for me. Insya Allah.

OK

I need a new job. Desperately.

My dramatic father.

***Postponed Entry***

Back to campus, finally. As expected, I screwed up my Global Marketing test yesterday. It was so frustrating T___T Regarding my health condition, I 'm still pretty weak. ...it feels like... I can't work hard as before. Two weeks to go before my final examination starts.... and I am soooo worryy now.

Despite of my weak condition, I managed to celebrate my father's birthday last week. It has been planned earlier, so no excuse for not doing it. Plus, my father has a very high sentimental value. Not celebrating his birthday means you have to deal with him, sulking for daysssss. haha.

I have always been excited to throw party to others, but I think I am still not qualified to be an event planner (Not creative enough, maybe). The thing that I enjoyed the most during a party is regarding the props. Ah, don't be surprised if I start a business on selling party props one day! hehe, since it is quite hard to get all the party props in Kelantan. There is only one place that I know, selling party props here, and they are quite expensive! See, I even have my own treasure box (More to recycle box). haha.

 

We ended our party with a dinner together. This maybe the last party for this year (even though Alah's birthday is two months from now. haha) Towards more surprise party next year! Hehe. 

See, my father's status on facebook today. *cries a bucket* #Teamabah

Gift-Swipe

Alert: Postponed entry, as well (This entry was written last March)

 Yeay, fifth semester has just started! Which means, this is the final semester in Kedah. & That's it, I 'm done with here after this (Can't wait!). This semester will end in mid-June, and I am going to start my practical in July. After all, I 'll be finishing my degree studies in this December. Ah. Finally. After all the rains and storms, there comes the sun.. My result last semester was pretty good. It was crazily unexpected. My gpa increases! I am in a very high spirit now. But, of course, I still need prayers from everyone (Please include my name in your prayers). 

 Whatever it is, I really want to enjoy this semester. No pressure. 

 Ok. The main entry starts now. (Beware: Quite cheesy you know). This is my first time writing things like this. But I can't help this time! Haha. A's birthday was in January, meanwhile mine in February. As usual, we just wished each other through sms/whatsapp, talked about some little things, and off. Bye. No celebration. No gift-giving. haha. Oh, never use the free phone calls too. hihi. So lame! 

 This year, since his birthday fell in the semester break, we decided to see each other. And, I was just thinking it 'll be quite weird seeing him without bringing something. But, I really don't know what to buy. haha. So, the easiest, I bought him chocolates, add on with a little prank. I cut words in pieces and asked him to solve it. 12 words. haha (I forgot where did I save the photo. I 'll upload later ok). Regarding the puzzles? He is so straight. Obviously, he failed to solve it (even though he actually solved it). huahua. 

 We met three times during these two months of semester break. One for the celebration of the semester break, one for his birthday, and of course another one is for mine & farewell (more to farewell, actually. Since we rarely celebrating our birthdays). huhu. I am not expecting anything, but he prepared something for me too this time. And, it was so funnnyyyy! 

 As I am hoping for something like this:

Reality: He did it like gift-swipes. Urgh this guy, I gave him chocolates, he replied me the same. With add-ons: A planner, Manchester United jersey (tak muat!), a potrait drawing (wuu). And puzzles too. Panjang pulak tu! -___-

If only anyone can solve this, please ?

 I gave up already. Until today, both of us can't never solve the puzzles. He can't solve mine (Theoretically, he replied. haha). Because my words were actually REPLY LA BALIK (12 words. haha!!).

 Tak apa lah kan, it is the thought that counts. Xx

Homes to hotels

This is my mother's apartment. A gift from my father. Rather than let this place dust (Nobody lives here), we decided to start a guest house. In the name of our grandparents, from both sides (mother & father), the name of ChekMek is chosen. Besides, the name has Kelantanese value too. hehe. This apartment is situated strategically in front of the famous open-air night market Wakaf Che Yeh, and just only 10 minutes from the Kota Bharu city. Therefore, this place is very suitable for those travelers or even the businessmen that are looking for a reasonable place to stay.

So, there is no anxious feelings anymore after this! You guys can come and stay here as you come to Kelantan. This studio-suite apartment is at the 8th floor (Uh don't worry guys, there is lift that will bring you there. hehe). It is accommodated with two big single beds & bar counter also.

For any inquiries, you can directly contact this number: 

(+6)0179248099 (Strictly whatsapp only)

So far, since its opening last month, the celebrations are quite good. But, no worries, there is still empty slots for this month. They are on promotion now! Book faster to get the good deals! 

Can everyone does me a favour? Please like & support Chekmek Homestay instagram page :)

Welcome-home celebration

Alert: This is a postpone-entry

 I have just come home (for nearly a week)! *phew* Last semester was crazy. For the first time, I stayed awake for studying all night! I don't recommend you doing this (Even though A did this, yes. All the time), but when pressure comes, sometimes.. you just have to do it. hehe. International investment turned me into an efficient all-nighter. Out of sudden, I don't afraid to stay all night in the house (Everyone went home a week earlier, there were only Sya & I left). Started at 9 p.m. and finished revising all the calculations part (with the help of Master-jie via whatsapp) around 6 a.m., crashed the bed at 6.30 a.m. after doing the Subuh prayer..... & woke up at 2 p.m. haha. All-nighter is really not my style. I couldn't even go to the library that day. So tiring. Whatever it is, let's hoping for the good marks now.

Since parents were not at home, siblings & I had our time together this weekend. It is soooo hard to find time that everyone is freeeee nooow! Today is the only time that we have, since Ayu is not following us to Kuantan next week. Everyone is growing up :( 

Rest well, Che.

Post-poned entry.

My Che had returned to Allah last week (20th March 2015). Her passing was totally a shock, at least to me. I did not expect to receive a phone call from my sister to tell me that.. "Che takdok dah..."... It was surreal. I couldn't brain this. I just talked to her a week before.. I just talked to my mother about Che much-less six hours before her death.. I just liked her photo on instagram (uploaded by my cousin) three hours before she left for good.. I just.. I just.. lost for words.

This entry has been written since last two months.., but never finish..

I am lost in time machine now. There is so much I want to say about her that I can't even start. My siblings and I are the closest to Che. We used to call Che's house as our nursery. Well, since my parents are both working, all of us will stay at her place until noon.. sometimes, dragged until late in the evening or night, went to our home for sleep and changed clothes.. & the routine continued....... until we start schooling, literally at six/seven. She even the one who walked us to the kindergarten in the morning, and never forget to pick us up. We used to say, "Che tak payah lah ambik, kita kenal lah jalan balik rumah Che.." You know what was her reply ? "Tak boleh, orang jahat ramai!" (I was soooo jealous to see others walked home by themselveees, and sometimes with other frieeends, back at that time) -__-

Che was with us in almost all special occasions. Abah's birthday party, Umi's mother's day, small family's gathering, and even to our trips to masjid for kuliyah and tarawih, she will always included in our list. Every small things that we did, she will shout it from the rooftops. Well, it annoyed some people. huhu. Obviously, she was our biggest supporters. Since her house is more spacious (Read: No wifi), I used to study at her house for my big examinations. She will never fail to sleep before me. If only she slept before me, it was only because she accidentally slept. Anyone that knew my Che liked her very much. She was very easy to mingle with. One of my best friend's wedding shower was done at Che's house, and you know, she was the one who was more excited about that event! 

Tok Ayah's death affected her very much. She insisted to stay at her house although it was only for day-stay. She changed a lot. She became very secretive. And always talked about the same things everyday and we kept listening to the same stories all the time. Perhaps, she missed Tok Ayah a lot. Even if she rarely cooked after that, she never miss to ask us to buy groceries every month, and the most important; if only she cooked, she never forget to cook for us tooo (Ikan singgang is compulsory. Sometimes, there were up to three un-touched packed of them in the freezer). Haha

...

I have always imagined Che on my wedding day (We always had a little fight when talking about marriage thing. Pfffft). I am at the saddest level that I have ever been now. But, realizing that she was in the better place, I could not be much happier. By this time, perhaps she has been re-united back with her long lost boy friend in the jannah. Insya Allah. According to Umi and Chu, Che went away in a very beautiful way. She even had her house clean and tidy before she asked them to bring her to the hospital. She was so calm.. her heartbeat was slowed gradually, and after one heavy breath, she closed her eyes. Forever.

Rest well Che. 

We shall meet again, soon.

...

I would like to thank everyone who were there for me, since from the start I received the news. Friends who helped to send me off to the airport at 1 a.m., willing to wait for me at the airport until I safely went into the plane (My flight was at 7 a.m. It was the first flight), and to those who take time to deliver the message of condolences to my family and I, I would like to thank each one of you. May Allah bless! 

..

Home-work

There are few random thoughts running through my head these few days. It is quite challenging to put everything into words here. -Ah, some things are better left unsaid.. So, what's up ? I am totally fine (except for my face, there are little bumps here and there. & yes, I 'm stress with that T__T). After all, holiday mood is still on.... And oh I am not sure whether this is considered as good news or not, but I 've settled down for good. hehe, which means I have no official relationship with my campus anymore. Yeay ?! With the new team that has been set up for both of the club & students' council, I wish all of them best of luck to go through the craziness of workloads for the whole year. *evil laugh here*

I have just come home from my sister's convocation last week. It was fun... and full of sentimental value. Despite of some regrets in me for not being the first in the family to graduate.. I am soooo proud of my sister! You can never imagine on how hard she struggled during her school and uni - days in order to receive the scroll. Mendidik anak ibarat menanam pokok. Dulu, ditanam saja benih. Hari ini dah tiba masa kami tuai hasilnya. ....Abah and his lecture will never fall apart. He tazkirah us all the way from the campus back to Kelate -__-" But, yes they are all true. Looking at our parents (non-stop clicking his camera, make us embarrased in front of the friends bla bla. haha), they only want the best for us. And, I know this day will never possible without them. Well, now they can sigh a little bit of relief to see one of their children has pass very well (Many more to come!).

Hm, ajet sangat! #JelitadahKonvo

On the other note, my youngest brother (not so young anymore, he 'll be 15 next year. pffft) has getting more playful now! Besides of futsal and squash (his birds will never be forgotten), with this new globalization era of smartphones; he is very addicted to COC. Last few days, he was scolded by Abah for not doing anything sooo, now he behaved a bit and one day I came to see him doing his work quitely in his room.

A : Dik, why are you so lazy doing school works now ?

B : How can I not be lazy doing all these homeworks, teachers never ask for them to be pass up. To make it more worst ?! I am the only one who settled all of them.

A : ........Orang baik selalu teraniaya

*******

But, seriously who to blame now ?!!

Life just got real, sigh.

Assalamualaikum! 

Phew, finally! Guys, I am very panic! I can't access my blog since yesterday. I even think of probability that my blog was hacked T__T Ah, what to say. This place is one place that I treasure the most, how can it disappear just like that ? Without any single good bye ? Ok, Fety is being exaggerate, as always. haha

It has been two weeks. I have just come back from Jakarta & a commitment of work to my college last two days -they were the last one, since I 'm not joining my MPP team to Perth this December, and perhaps will not able to join the Mega PC Fair program also. Thinking of not going back there after this makes me cry inside (This time is serious. Even if I 'm going back there again, things will never as the same as today anymore). Well, life really has a way of kicking us when we are down (absolutely). And just when we think we cannot fall any lower, we get kicked again. Duh, when did life get so real ?? I cannot lie to myself. I am having a rough time now. Erm, may be we can say it as adult dilemma ? At times, I feel like I don't want to care about choosing. Let's go for alternatives, it is either do-or-die. Decision making process is never easy *sigh*. 

After all, I have always remind myself with this: Everyone has their own struggles. No matter what we are going through in our lives, other people also have gone the same or worse. It is times like this we need to be strong in order to come out stronger on the other side. Come on, I have passed series of tragedies before this, how can I not endure this little dilemma ? Hehe.

I think the biggest design project anyone can have is their own life

I am a person who likes to make 'things-to-do list' that can help me to organize my day. Alhamdulillah, many things can be settled by doing the list. Still there are some things are not going according to my plan (I am always in total mess when I am busy. haha). Sometimes, what we want and what we get in life are totally different.... I am an ordinary human, who is very immersed in designing the future and sometimes, totally forget on what has been said in Al-Quran, ....But, they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best planner (Al-Anfal:30).  

Of course, this is a SPONSORED post. My best friend needs to pay me for letting his story comes out openly in my sketch place. haha. I was too busy with my own stuff this whole November. But, I guess I excel my first surprise present :) -I was attacked with a lot of screen-shots of this picture that day. Haha! & thank you for my busy-ness, I have no time to reply at all (I have nothing to reply, that is the truth! Haha). 

So, the long wait is over. All of your hard works and sleepless nights for the past few years have been paid off. Happy graduation to the one who is in love with design projects the most. Designing is always cool, but in the mean time, He too has already designed and planned our projects ahead. What more can we say except let's put the trust in Him ? Allah is the best planner.

Happy graduation. You owe me big this time!

To be productive.., or not ?

Hai All! I've been quite busy (read: lazy) these past few days... Watching dramas & reading some books. hehe. When it comes to those things, nothing can interrupt me. I can spend all day in my room reading and watching. Everything that mom and sibs asked me to do, I would say.. maalasss.. malaaaass.. haha. Of course, everyone 'll scold me loud after that! haha. 

As for this moment, I 'm very immersed into the characters of Bloody Monday. I 've finished watching the season one, and now on my way to finish the second season (As I know, there are all 3 seasons! OMG lagi lama lah kerja tak jalan nanti. I'm trying to be productive. Usually, before I went to bed, I 'll made a list on what I am going to do the next day. Yet, what happened to the next morning ? After subuh prayer, I 'll end up on the bed for at least -3 hours kot. (Kalau tak lebih lagi. hihi). Well, my excuse 'll be it is my holiday... and I need a complete rest. The truth is I am just just lazy. Completely lazy. This feeling really distract me since after all, I 'll be very regret. Menyesalnya tak bangun awal skit, I should not watch that dramas yet..., kalau tak boleh buat ni.. buat tu... haha

But now, as I 'm typing this entry; Mom was warded for her sinus treatment. So, everything has to be on me. Penatnya! .......At least, I 'm not too lazy to not doing anything, right ? haha I'm on my way to having a productive day today! ;)

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You are not just my mother. You are my role model, my best friend

When you are not around, it is so hard to strive. Love you both! XOXO

Yesterday was my Umi's birthday! ;) Well, I really want to talk about my Umi.. but, I simply cannot put into words all the things I really want to say. Perhaps, it is simply not possible for me to use words to describe all things that I want to say about my mother. Because, as for me; the thing that really fills up my mind is on how she loved and take care of me.... &   siblings (of course, Abah is included. hehe). Just to let you know, she is a lovely woman to have known and a lovely mother to have had. :)

Erm. Hai :)

Assalamualaikum. It has been really.... long long time, right ? Happy new year ? (Since this is my first post for 2013 ;p). No, I'm not resigning from writing. As had been stated before, I write to inspire others. But, my life last few days, or should I say week ? or maybe, year ? were not too good to be talked about (If you know, what I mean here). That time was so hard. I was on the verge of mental breakdown, I just felt like to put my head between my knees and cry, cry, and cry to death. 

The only good thing about that episodic memory was I lost my weight a lot. haha. See, every cloud has a silver lining. haha! I learnt something too. Redha. Dan ikhlas. Selagi tak rela, selagi tak ikhlas, selagi itu hati tak tenang, jiwa gelora. Yesterday, was the day that I ended my third semester for my diploma. & basically, I am on holiday. I'm doing good. As for the results, I did pretty good for the last two semesters and of course, I'm hoping for the best this semester (mohon doakan). Just to let you know, I also have two clubs to be handled now. hehe. At first, I'm doing all these extra things to forget my problems. I bet you 'll never imagine how worst I was that time. (In fact, I even googled how to be happy, how to stand up after falling hard, etc. etc.). I remembered one question that was asked by a senior during an interview for one club last semester. Apa yang awak mahu daripada kelab ini ? .......I don't know. Me too, not sure that time. One thing that I really want is.. I want myself back. So, this was my answer ...saya mencari semangat yang hilang. Saya harap, kelab ini mampu menolong saya. 

As I predicted, the clubs are helpful. People here are good. I met some good friends. They are really playing their roles in helping me gathering back my strength. Much less, I'm back on the track now. And as I typing this entry; I actually struggling to finish my international visit proposal for my club next semester. The date line is tomorrow night!! I think that's all for now. My work is calling for me. haha. 'll tell you more in the next entry. Till the fingers meet the keyboard, again. :)

______________________________________________________

Cause everything starts from something, 

But something would be nothing,

Nothing if your heart didn't dream with me

Besides parents and siblings, I do have super best friend who supports me all the way. I think this is the right time to say thank you, thank you for always being here. You may not understand for some things, why I do what I do now. But, for you never criticized... and just helped me through them... Thank you. I appreciate them, very much. Well, I am not good in putting up words, but this song really reminds me of you. ;) -Don't worry, there is no picture of Bieber, since I know you hate him very much. haha

#Salam Syawal

We encounter thousands of people, who have the ability to change our perspective of life

Well, I never got to understand the complete story of my Tok Ayah, the hardships that he faced during his young-hood, in the mean time trying to raise a large family. However, I remember a nice man that loved to laugh.. Tok Ayah.. :) Being as one of the closest person to him, make me realized that though he was gone physically, he would never spiritually gone. Still remain in my heart, and the past memories of him would always stay with us. -Even though nobody lives forever, their legacy will always remain. Al- Fatihah

The last picture, eid- ul adha 1431 H

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Kita semua hebat kerana hati terpanggil untuk menghulurkan sesuatu buat insan yang kita sayang

Hai orang-orang yang beriman, janganlah kamu menghilangkan pahala sedekahmu dengan menyebut-nyebutnya dan menyakiti (perasaan si penerima), seperti orang yang menafkahkan hartanya kerana riya' kepada manusia, dan dia tidak beriman kepada Allah dan hari Kemudian. Maka perumpamaan orang itu seperti batu licin yang di atasnya ada tanah, kemudian batu itu ditimpa hujan lebat, lalu jadilah dia bersih (tidak bertanah). Mereka tidak menguasai sesuatu pun dari apa yang mereka usahakan, dan Allah tidak memberi petunjuk kepada orang-orang yang kafir. (Al- Baqarah, 262-264) #Subhanallah

It is not a big thing if you leave me now

I'm a big big girl

In a big big world

Yes, I'm lying. The loss of relationship can bring on heartache. It can be rough, no matter what, no one really wants to go through them. How can I let go, someone that I love?

I don't know how to speak for anyone but myself.

I know that somewhere in the future everyone will leave. The thing is that I can't imagine the world without the person that I love. I realize how much it'll hurt when they are gone. I just started to think how much I would hurt and how meaningless my life would be without them.

Nikmat, dugaan Allah.

Satu ujian, satu anugerah.

Ujian mendatang selalunya menjadikan diri kita lebih tegar. Masakan tidak, ia mengajar kita untuk menjadi lebih lasak dalam menggalas setiap beban kehidupan. Andai tidak mampu bertahan pada ujian yang awal, mungkin sahaja, peringkat seterusnya kita rebah.

Lain manusia, lain yang ditanggungnya.

A conversation. :)

To many of us, our fathers are enigmas. Well, as for me, I am blessed with a great father. Not the prototypical type, but a very caring and involved father. Don't believe? See what did he do today! ;)

Received this message early in the morning today.

Anakku, gunalah masa dengan baik kerana kewajipan atas kita lebih banyak dari masa yang kita ada.

It touched my chord seriously. (I did'nt reply this message)And, again my phone beeped. Suprisingly it was from Abah, one more time?

Mari tepat ore kenduri. Ni ado ore silat dan dikit barat. Terlintas di hati, anak abah esok- esok nak buat guana? (Due to a few reasons, this message has been modified. But still, the meaning remains).

Smiled. And in the mean time, I cried. Don't know how to explain. But for me, the messages were very meaningful! :) Well, I did reply the second message, and we did texting for a few messages, mainly talking about the interesting topic above. Hehe

Old as I am, I still miss my Abah. How about you people? :)

Hello world, I'm 18 :)

Birthdays are occasions to celebrate one's growth, maturity, and development

I'm 18 & loving it. Yeay! Well, I just want to thank my friends in Pizza Hut for celebrating my birthday over lunch today. Thanks for the lunch everyone.

By the way, the best sms of the year:

Pada subuh 10 Februari 1992, lahirlah seorang puteri yang bakal menyempurnakan harapan keluarga. Dalam payah berada di perantauan, segala cabaran ku tempuh dan kini tujuh belas tahun berlalu. Puteriku Siti Fatihah Aminah sudah bersedia untuk menggalas cabaran. Selamat hari lahir. I Love U :) -sms from Abah. *sobs